YOU GUYS I’M 24! TWENTY FOUR!!
Suddenly my birthday feels like a way away and I’m wondering still, when is the birthday I’m meant to feel different. Ok whatever, I feel super old already but that’s not the point. So much has happened in the last year - so much and so little and too fast and then too slow and ohmygod it hurts my head to think about it. I want to say that so much has changed but it’s not exactly how I feel right now. So much has changed. But I don’t feel any different, really. Perhaps a little bit more aware of things, perhaps a little more grateful for things but perhaps still just a massive idiot at the heart of it.
After making it through my first official work party, Carlota greeted me at work on Monday morning with a photo she took at the end of the night. Of me. Lying on a chair with my feet up on the table and a glass of water next to me. Asleep. I was asleep. And obviously all I can remember is sitting down to take a rest from dancing and nothing about actually falling asleep anywhere in front of my work colleagues and bosses.
“You were so funny that night - one minute you were dancing and then suddenly you were asleep!!”
So there’s that. And knowing that’s what I did the day before I turn another year older was real special kind of feeling - a mix of who the f cares and holy moly what am I doing?!
I also baked my own birthday cake the night before and I used the same recipe as I had for Elin’s cake but half the size so half the amount of ingredients. Except of course I forgot to half the volume of liquid in the recipe so it was looking real soupy in the middle when it was supposed to have come out of the oven already. So there’s also that. It turned out ok in the end and I ate 2 slices (to taste test) on my birthday morning before I even left my apartment. A birthday breakfast.. on top of my actual breakfast.
Well it set the tone for the rest of the day because it was super duper and so cute and all my beautiful new friends here are some of the best people I could have met. I got surprise presents from Carlota and Jess (and the cutest belated surprise present from Elin when she came back from London on Thursday) and surprise birthday cupcakes from the others at dinner. It was the best day! We left the restaurant all high on sugar and perhaps a little more tipsy than I should have been because I got home at midnight and still ended up going to bed at 3am. My hangover only hit me at 10am the next morning. Not such a great day after that.
And the rest of the week was pretty bleugh after that but I just continued to eat a lot of chocolate through the struggle and finally, it’s Saturday.