I've been thinking it's Thursday all day today and it sucks that Friday cannot come any sooner. This week (and I'm already saying this only at mid-week) has been so slow. Like slow S L O W. And it's not like nothing has been going on because oh my it's still been super duper busy but when everything is all over the place and so much is happening at once, it's hard to not let the good moments pass and not get stuck in the low.
I had a kind of creative block on Monday morning and I couldn't see anything passed my research images. My drawings just weren't working. And then things got better and my designs started to develop again and then I see our boss with red eyes and the saddest look on her face. A friend had just died. An ex-colleague who had only just taken time off work after falling ill. A long time friend who had also been one of the first people to start up Inditex from the very beginning. And it was sudden and unbelievable and he was only in his 50s. And Loreto; the most loveliest and well-respected woman and a sort of maternal figure in the studio, most of the time she's so happy and strong and otherwise just stressed and straightforward. But to see her face today, so heartbroken and sad, oh my I excused myself to the toilets and cried over a man I never even knew. And I cried again over Skype that evening telling Mumma about my day and how stupid it made me feel to grieve over a stranger. It made no sense and then I remembered it was Monday.
Today was the funeral so all of the bosses were out. It was a weird atmosphere, without Loreto it makes it hard to move forward on the work for the campaign and yet it's all mixed in with the melancholy of the reason she's not here in the first place. Still, things are still moving downstairs with the patternmakers and the first of my designs for the new collection was fitted on the model for an initial review. It's only my second piece since I started but already I wonder if that feeling will ever wear off when you see your design in real life and on a real life person for the first time and it feels like magic. I guess these last two times I've been lucky that it's turned out the way I wanted it to - I'm dreading the day my design comes back to me screaming a lack of taste or style or any fashion competence. Most of the time these days have been flying by so fast I don't get to think about all the insecurities of my creative skills. But this week needs to hurry up already because I'd really appreciate it if the weekend could start now.